Sibling’s Bond

If I am asked what is the most important thing that I care about the most with my kids other than their health and well being, I will say immediately without a second thought the bond they will have together. All I want in my life is for them to have a strong solid bond when they get older. So I am always thinking how to nurture that relationship. Because I know for sure that whatever I will do when they young, will be reflected on their relationship when they get older.

For me, I always have a strong relationship with my brother. But I believe our relationship is different and was easier. I remember once I was telling my father about the most famous fight that we always had when we were kids, I was astonished that my father’s reply was “I don’t remember that you ever had a fight together”. He has a point, the relationship between me and my brother was a bit different, because my brother was born when I was six years old. So I always treated him like my baby not like my younger brother that took my place. I felt as if my mother brought for me a present or a baby boy to take care of or most of the times to play with. But the age gap between my kids is smaller. My boy was born when Thalla was 3 years old. So it is a bit harder sometimes to convince Thalla that she is older than her brother and that he is still a baby and doesn’t mean teasing her. My daughter is 5 years old and my son is two years old and he is copying her in everything she does, which annoys her most of times.

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These are the things that I always do to strengthen their relationship:

  • When they argue or fight together, I do not interfere unless there is violence and they hit each others. It always end up naturally between them in a second and they go back to playing peacefully. This is what my parents used to do, that is why they don’t remember us having any fights. Of course, we used to fight sometimes and this is normal between any siblings. But we didn’t fight that much and we always knew hoe to settle things up without our parents’ interference.
  • I always talk to my daughter about my relationship with my brother, how much I love him and that he is my number one friend. I keep telling her funny stories about me and him when we were kids. She has a favorite one that she always asks me for it and wants to listen to that story specifically whenever I talk about him. The best part is when I finish the story and ask her isn’t it funny? she replies “He is always funny”.
  • I keep telling Thalla that Taha is the most important person in her life. He is the one that she can trust the most and shares her secrets with and he will always be the one that cares for her the most.
  • My daughter loves playing as a teacher. So I always ask her to play as if she is his teacher and teach him what she has learnt at school. Both of them are always excited whenever they play this game. She is so thrilled when she feels that he learnt something new from her.

The thing that I want to work on more is the quality time with my daughter. Since the day I gave birth to my son and I always blame myself that I do not have enough time for her like before. Baring in mind that I am an expat mom and all of my time was fully dedicated to her before giving birth to my son. So I always have this feeling that I betrayed her. I don’t know if that is normal or what?. I feel that I will always keep blaming myself as long as I am mother and I will never feel that I giving them enough love and care. I wonder if you agree with me or not. Can’t wait to know your opinion 😀

 

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4 thoughts on “Sibling’s Bond

  1. I want to trach my kids to have a genuine solid relationship, I didn’t have that with my siblings. I have one kid, I can’t wait to have 5 more and have best friends in my house. Thank you for these tips!

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  2. I feel the same as you, since my son was born ~ hes now almost 5 months ~ probably because I am so tired I lose my temper with my daughter, especially around dinner time… but when I try to spend time with her just mommy and daughter I either am too tired to play or I just dont have the time because her brother needs me or it’s now her bed time. On the weekends when daddy is home I try to let him spend time with baby and her and I do the shopping or cleaning… I also try to read with her or work with her in her writing (she will be 5 soon, inshallah). But I feel I need more hours in the day to give her the attention she used to have!

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    1. Yes, When my son was born it was the hardest time ever. I was so tired and got angry quickly. I couldn’t manage my time properly and most of the time I was with her brother.

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